Today, while unpacking, I found the red paper clip. The same one that was on my coffee table that you picked up and fiddled with for what seemed to be an eternity, right before you broke my heart.
I picked that paper clip up and it took me back to over a year ago. Funny, it seemed so long ago, but I still remember every detail of that moment. I sort of wish I didn't. I sort of wish I didn't remember a lot of things when it comes to you. And I sort of wish I didn't sort of wish all that. It's complicated.
I don't know why I didn't throw that damn paper clip away months ago. I'd found it several times with the same effect, but I would just throw it back in the junk drawer, to be forgotten until I found it again while looking for something else.
Today I threw it away. I don't want memories of you in my new home. And I'm not saying it to be mean, I'm just saying it as a fact. My new home is a clean slate, and I can't have that if you are still laying around with that stupid, red paper clip.
This is amazing. <3U, E.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how much power small objects have over one's attention at intensely emotional moments like that. I can recall being fascinated by the design of my fork while I was being dumped in a restaurant. Maybe we're just looking for anything that will take our minds away from the pain. When my single years were over, I did keep a few mementoes from painful relationships--maybe just to remind me how far I'd come--but I keep them tucked away in a box. And over the years, they become less and less significant--more like a record of my life than anything with lasting emotional clout. So good for you for moving on, looking ahead, and making progress toward the inevitable payoff. I wish you a happy life.
ReplyDeleteAnd anyway, the Royals swept the Angels, so that's a good start (for YOU, anyway).
<3 u, AB
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